Primarily a place for me to post things that I find interesting on the internet, I’ve decided I want to start using my tumblr for something more personal. Back in sophomore year, my friends and I started posting “notes” on Facebook. All we did was ramble on about our lives and the thoughts and feelings that we were having at the time. Every time I would finish a note, I was left with a feeling of satisfaction, like writing had helped me figure things out a little bit. Through the worst and best moments, we kept writing, and documented a lot of interesting ideas int eh process. Re-reading everything that I wrote during that time was stimulating. I’m reading my own ideas and thinking to myself, gee why didn’t I take my own advice? Looking back at the comments my friends left on my notes, I was surprised. Everything they had to say was positive and insightful. We were using Facebook as an outlet for our feelings, but in a collective way that allowed for elaboration and inspiration. I miss that. Growing up and getting old doesn’t mean that you don’t still need to talk about your feelings and explore your mind. Sure, I’ve matured and the topics of my writing and style may change a bit, but the feelings are still the same. The satisfaction of a job well done, the frustration of miscommunication, the sadness of a broken heart. There are some obstacles that we continue to face again and again in our lifetime, and with each new day, we have more wisdom and more experience to help us. It takes an active participation of ourselves to change enough to overcome the obstacles completely. Reading these notes was both comforting and startling for me. Comforting because I remembered that no matter how bad I felt, I always made it through and things were okay. Startling because I realized that some of the problems I was dealing with back then, when you look at the root of it, I am still dealing with now. I have overcome a lot, but there is still a lot to be faced and I can’t give up. So, I’m hoping that by using tumblr as an outlet for my thoughts and feelings I might be able to reach new insights and ideas and regain that sense of peacefulness that writing has given me.
Today I made a promise that I’m not sure I can keep. I have a knack for remembering birthday’s and for making them great for my friends. I treat birthdays as a big deal, and I think everyone deserves to have great memories of their birthday and to share them with the people they love. It makes me feel good to know that I have brought someone a source of joy that they had not known before. People think that growing up means your birthday has to stop being fun, and to me that is just ridiculous. Birthday’s should still be great. It’s not about money, but it’s about who you are with and how you feel. So, I made a promise, to a boy that I will always love. Forever friends and probably never more, I let my heart do the talking and made him a promise. To give him the one present he has always hoped for is now my goal. The only problem is I know that I have to find a way to make this happen, I’m just not sure how. Also, part of me doesn’t want to, but at the same time I just want to see him happy.
A cloudy afternoon, not long after the school bell has rung. Students have piled onto their buses, anxiously awaiting their return home to log onto their computer or play outside in the park before it rains. The bus driver of bus 66 can barely mask her exhaustion as she greats each back-pack bearing child that bounces up the stairs to the bus. Five minutes later and they are one their way. The bus approaches a red like, and slows to a stop. While the bus is no longer in motion, that does not stop the children that have squeezed into each brown leather seat. Suddenly, the already high energy level reaches a new peak, another bus has pulled up next to them. An enemy ship in the distant dawn has approached. Two pirate ships have intersected paths and the crossfire is heavy. Windows roll down, back-packs fly off, and heads go out the window. Even the shyest of children, defending their school, their bus. But in a second, it is gone, the light has changed from red to green and the buses roll away in opposite directions.
